these are the times when my slow destruction has clouded out hope of seeing any light of rebirth
i dont know if i will be here still to see myself rise again
flying in a cold sky and all of the sudden, a blizzard hits... I cant fight it, I can only land and hide
but as I hide,
I start to die.
No matter that I'm told that it will end soon, or that I will survive.
I cant deny that I'm still dying. It gets colder and colder and I hope that I can hold out until the blizzard ends.
Being alone hurts more than ever because there's no heat other than my own fading warmth. Sometimes there are others who stay for a bit and attempt to warm me with shallow promises and a dissipating presence...
but they leave me so quickly (because obligation and fleeting concern "eventually" flies away) and I end up colder than before and dying that much faster.
Dont tell me there will be relief "eventually" as Im fading NOW. I need something concrete now to hold on to. Making it past this hour is my focus
Dont fucking ever tell me "Eventually" because you know what?
Eventually you'll leave me,
eventually the cold will freeze me.
and the only thing that the "eventual" blizzard's end will do is thaw my dead body so it can finally start rotting