Thursday, July 29, 2010

Current Mood: The Urge To Scream "FUCK!!!"

So I visited my college campus to say good-bye to my friends who are going to Rome for study abroad. i love those two girls to death, it's going to be hard without them. We acted crazy and stuff for 4 days and it really did me some good. It reminded me of the good friends and life i have back there to look forward to.
However there was a downside to the visit. Two of my friends who "Werent looking for a relationship" or "didnt want commitment" are now officially in a relationship... wtf? now in my 14+ group of friend it is me and one other girl who isnt in a relationship and the other girl just got out of one so it kinda doesnt count.

hence the urge to scream "fuck"

i mean, it got to the point where i google searched "20 yrs old, never been kissed" to see if i was a freak or not. because no matter what my parents and neighbors say, most people i know have been in at least one relationship if not more. usually more by my age. and when i looked online, the kind of people in the same boat were mostly jesus freaks... yeah, that didnt make me feel any better. fuck, what's so wrong with me?


Friday, July 16, 2010

A Letter To Mr. Cutie At the Bus Stop

Dear Attractive Chinese-American U of C Student at the Bus Stop,
When I asked you about your laptop bag, I wasnt actually interested in where you got it. I was trying to start a conversation. and eventually flirt. better luck next time, sexy.

A Attractive Black Female Iowa State Student

Monday, July 5, 2010

Today was a good day

Man, it seems like my lows are finally not outnumbering my highs so much. and my neutrals are increasing. today was definitely a high though.

Day started out with a food extravaganza, lol. tomato mozarella, out-of-the-box muffins, and a little smoothie, much more than i usually have for breakfast.
At around 12 me, my neighbors, their kids, and my sister all went out to see Toy Story 3. It's funny because my neighbors are white and black and the kids are half white half indian. and then me and my sister are black. my neighbors though are in general, super cool. anyway, Toy Story 3 was great, best movie i've seen this year. after, we went to Little Italy and had Thai food ironically. We also bought Italian ices at the lemonade stand.

When we got home, i got a call from a guy that i know from my old soccer team. i had seen him the day before and he talked about us hanging out, something that i didnt mid doing. so we walked around a nearby park and talked for a bit. unfortunately i was kind of bored and i made up an excuse to go home. he talked about how we should go to a movie or something and at first i was thinking no but i talked to a neighbor who helped me see that not everything has to be about a new relationship or whatever. just going out with a friend and seeing a movie should be chill. now all i have to do is not obssess over it and i will be golden. overthinking stuff is my specialty unfortunately.

so now, im just going to try and take it a day at a time