So I just had a conversation/debate with my mother that ended with my saying "you're brainwashed!" to which she took a rather large offense to...
What we were talking about was the Gates case with the idiot white cops that were called for a supposed break ins. also my mind is stuffed with the recent racefails of the past two weeks, what with sotomayor's confirmation, the philly pool incident, and now this. and all i have heard white people say is that everybody (meaning black people) are blowing this all out of proportion and just like to play the race card. and i've had it.
and now i hear my mother talking about if Gates had just stayed inside his house and not yelled at the police officers, he wouldnt have been arrested. which ignores the whole inequity of the police being there in the first place what waiting. but after the argument was over, i felt guilt, anger, and irritation at both my mom and myself. my heart doesnt regret what i said, but my mind does.
So what my head knows is that:
1. my mother lived through the 60s and 70s. so even though she is a middle class child through and through, she stills went through much rougher stuff that i have ever. so for me to judge her feels wrong and that even if i truly believe that she is brainwashed (which i do), i owe her much more respect than i gave her
2. mothers desreve more respect
3. good mothers even more so, and my mom is the best.
My heart feels:
1. being middle class has basically placed my mom in the mindset of most middle class blacks, especially considering her attitude towards working class blacks, her prejudices against other people of color groups, her general ignorance of the world outside where we live.
2. i spend most of my time reading up on the stuff going on.
so im torn and irritated that this is a problem period.